Yo dont text me then not text me
Quick, to the slutcave!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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