Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
