it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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