i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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