Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
