false alarm. still invincible.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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