I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
