I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
