Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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