You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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