I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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