trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
