Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So much rum. So many feels.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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