What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
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its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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