Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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