So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
