She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Randomize