be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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