I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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