put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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