you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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