I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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