he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
