so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
one two three fourrrrnication!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
