Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
