I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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