Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
