so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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