Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
