I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
