heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
