i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The air was thick with penises
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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