We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Liz is crying about burritos again.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize