you have to choose: penises or morals?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
