I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
