I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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