HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
