Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
