I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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