apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
