Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
