I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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