I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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