"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
