i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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