nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
