This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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