mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
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she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
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and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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