I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
