Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You can't motorboat a personality
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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