he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
