she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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