It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
